addressing sexual abuse of children




“We must call sexual abuse by its real name. Abuse is not limited to just rape or molestation. Here is an official definition from a reputable Christian book on the topic:

“Sexual abuse is any contact or interaction (visual, verbal, or psychological) between a child/adolescent and an adult (or older teen) when the child/adolescent is used for the sexual stimulation of the perpetrator or another person.” (Dan Allender, The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse)

Let’s face it: the term sexual abuse is loaded and ugly. So often people try to mislabel abuse as “inappropriate behavior” or an “indiscretion” or “immorality” to help remove its stigma.  But renaming something just confuses the issue at hand and prevents us from dealing with the reality of its dangers. Children and youth who have been damaged by abuse—even if the abuse seems “minor” to us—will often live their lives through the lens of that experience; and frequently make poor relationship and spiritual choices as they mature. They need our help for recovery.”   To read the entire article, go here…..


Another great resource for becoming more informed about sexual predators, which is who typically commits sexual abuse of children, is this book, Predators, Pedophiles, Rapists, and Other Sex Offenders by Anna Salter. It is a painful read and if you have experienced sexual abuse, be warned. I would like to see this book in the hands of every parent.




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  1. Anthea says

    I dunno about the US, but we have had this issue pop up EVERYWHERE. Sex abusers go where children are. And the stranger in an overcoat isn’t the only scenario. Last week a young woman was convicted of handing over a child she was babysitting to a paedophile she knew. Sadly, a woman is vulnerable when she is making friends with someone, thinking about a relationship — is he interested in her, or in her child/her younger sibling? It ain’t pretty. Books should warn parents of that too

    The mental abuse that accompanies the physical acts is also hurtful. The mind games … This is also a feature of cultic spiritual abuse. Am I correct that you and Clay had some experience of spiritual abuse in your early years as parents?

  2. says

    Anthea, we have experienced spiritual abuse in several ways. We have been the recipients of it, we have also had the experience of coming alongside others who went through it. One of our stories involving friends is particularly poignant as it had ramifications for several generations after the fact and grieves us to this day.

  3. Alice says

    I am thrilled that sexual abuse is now being discussed so openly. Although, quite curious about these silly sensationalized magazines with this Homeschool Anonymous rag mentality of supposedly saving the world while condemning homeschoolers (and showing their own inability to make much sense in the process. I remember reading some of the rants and feeling so desperately sorry for the posters because they had no idea how to get on with their lives…and it wasn’t because of homeschooling). This poster with the Facebook Riot Stollar who is all over your case won’t even approve my Friend Request and is, obviously, into censorship then complains loudly that homeschoolers won’t willingly police themselves and sit at the table with those eejets for a chat about abuse (um…ah…ya…know …discussion usually is two-way and it starts when you allow people with dissenting opinions to post and discuss…just sayin’:). Okay….how about letting them on your Facebook first and letting a real conversation start if we are so abusive….says Alice clearing her throat! Ha! Sorry about the beating your are taking Karen, and congrats on your new book. Wonder why having a different opinion is now so divisive, instead of taking their own fingers out of their ears and listening, they just jam their fingers in further and close their eyes to seal the deal. And probably label you an abuser to boot, which will only hurt the children (around the world….which is where they should focus on the children who are truly suffering) of abuse. I have waited a long time for the freedom to say these things because my children are all grown up. I used to fear gals like the posters at Riots because they use vindictiveness instead of the ability to think and forget that the thought police are pretty abusive too…they can ultimately hurt a whole lot of people (and I tend to think that’s the whole gist on that thread of venting their own failures under the guise of altruism…gag:).

  4. Anthea says

    Hello Alice

    I have had a look at various HA-style blogs and sites. There are genuine hurts and wounds that people have suffered in childhood, so I try not to condemn. I do question the health of the response, because it reminds me of the way that my parents gently but firmly warned us about how we might be tempted to respond to racism. (‘Cos the 70s weren’t all Peace and Love, man!) The hurt is real, the frustration and mystified outrage at injustice is inevitable, but it is what comes next that presents us with a “fork in the road” moment . “Be angry, and sin not’ is the key tough commandment. But there really isn’t a choice. My mother warned us about what would happen to us if we had a scatter-gun anger towards all British people, what would happen to society if we did not try to find a middle way. An intemperate response (in my heart, or in the law) might actually hinder the very progress towards justice which is my heart’s desire. Does this make sense? The way that some of these websites present things might, ironically, actually make it more difficult to help children have a top notch education and love-filled childhood.

    I am sorry that people have, in the past, made you feel uncomfortable as a home educator.

  5. Simone Maigret says

    You need to include Bill Gothard in the “pantheon” of perverts and pedophiles.

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